vare vare ammusant.

several reasons my life is simply marvelous at the moment. (please note the serious levels of sarcasm)

1.its past midnight and instead of spooning someone gorgeous and warm, im sitting infront of my computer boring the cybertrons with my typing. said computer has a virus on it, so it keeps crashing too, or peculiar russian pop-ups about "erectile disfunction" appear. charming.
2.i have an essay due on "the odyssey" for next weekend. when i got the manuscript i thought there had been a mistake. i thought they had sent me some foreign translation. turns out it was actually just really dreadful old english.
3. im quite certain that there is a five dollar note lurking in my jeans pocket. but these jeans are somewhere in the midst of my cupboard, a place i dare not venture unless its an emergency.
4.last night i had a dream about facebook...
5... the dream i had before that was about the sims.
6. i spent alot of money having my hair done last week. stripped it, lightened it and had it coloured a honey colour. and NO ONE NOTICED! (might i also mention that my hairdresser is fully pregnant and extremely hormonal? vare vare ammusant. not!)

but all that being said. life is sweet:)

scraps.

this is something i wrote years ago.think i was in grade 7 or 8. probably due to a severe lack of a social life. and because i was such a bloody hippy. needs to be edited. badly. oh well:


The gun fired. The bullet shot through the air, glimpsing nothing but the blurred world around it. Nothing to see except for smears of brown and green across a destroyed canvas. Its journey seamed like a life time, and yet it was only a few short moments. It pierced the soldier’s heart and broke it in more ways than one. He closed his eyes and exhaled. His part was done. The world was no longer his home, his refuge. He was to be judged by god today, and a small smile crept across his face.
Holding his chest, he slowly lifted himself out of the trench. Blood trickled off his dirty fingers and hit the hardened earth. The ringing in his ears grew louder and more painful. And then he could hear nothing at all. He staggered across the dry soil, amongst scattered weapons and the corpses of soldiers. His or the enemies he was unsure, as they were so alike in death.
He could see men with sweat covering their brows, pulling triggers, and others running for cover as grenades were thrown. And yet he could hear nothing. Slowly his vision faded too, and like the bullet that had struck him, he could see only the faint blur of his troops.
He raised a weakened arm as he again collapsed. He could not feel, nor hear, nor see, but he was still relieved. Holding his hand pressed to his heart, he rested and waited. His angel would soon come.

and so the war raged on, and the soldiers fought. waiting in the darkness. for an anwser. for a signal. or perhaps just for an absolution that would never come.

challenge.

i challenged myself to forget myself this week.

yes you read that correctly.

i recently watched The Kite Runner, and albiet a beautiful heartwrenching story, it doesnt really have anything to do with plain old little me.

so why did it effect me so much? i dont really know. wish it hadnt to be honest. there i was, minding my own business one lovely tuesday evening, drinking my tea, when i decided to watch it.

and then WHAM! like being slapped in the face with a frozen herring.i felt awful. not because of the sombre story line, oh no. but because of who i was. (again im not quite sure as to how these two are related, but i am assuming its the movies fault, so bare with me...)

i realised how selfish we have become. we nitpic and argue over the tiniest things in our lives as if they were matters of life and death. we laugh about other people's misfortunes and make crude jokes.we fight and we hate and we ignore.

but worst of all. we are indifferent.

but why?

how can i so easily turn a blind eye to the people who truly need someone. why arent i there for them? what makes me so arrogant that i assume my matters are of more importance? they arent.

the news headlines read about death and war and destruction, and yet instantly forgotten the moment the anchorman starts talking about sport.

we see numbers but we dont see the people.

we see corpses covered in sheets but we never learn their names.

we see guns but we dont feel those bullets.

and for what?

so somewhere someone can have more money? the cruel reality is that that money is ours. its us. yes, thats correct. YOU.

ME.

i guess the movie just shook me out of my dreamlike state, and i awoke to a very cruel reality.

sometimes my heart gets so heavy with the sorrows of the world, and i feel too tired to even cry. sometimes my chest aches as tho i could possibly stop breathing (although this could boil down to a bad habit and my asthma).. but i push it aside and carry on as though its nothing.

i know there must be something i can do. and i think its at least about time i actually tried.

ours is a world of nucleur giants and ethical infants. we know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living -Omar. N. Bradley

life is more than fame and rock n roll and thrills,

all the riches of kings end up in wills,

we got information in the information age,

but do we know what life is,

outside of our convenient Lexus cages?- gone by Switchfoot

annoyances.

1. that lady that won the gold in the olympics, and then was accused of being a man. erm, if u thought she was a bloke, perhaps u should have looked into it, BEFORE the race.... and fyi she doesnt have an adams apple. all that aside, should the tests not have been done in private? imagine the psychological effect this has on that girl, if she is one. imagine if YOU won gold at the olympics and got told, "oh er sorry. we dont think a woman can run like that. you must be a man. you look like a man"so offensive, sexist and humiliating.

2. people on facebook. if it werent for the fact that i live miles away i would delete the thing. im so tired of reading rediculous statuses about boyfriends and romance, whilst people try their best to sound artistic or philosophical, but still cant spell AnD TyPE LiKe` ~tHis~. the only thing worse, is people on twitter. every five minutes! oh my word. I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR EATING FOR LUNCH! shove off.


3. awareness groups. child abuse awareness. animal rights awareness. global warming awareness. we are AWARE of all of of this stuff now, thank you. so what are we going to do about it?? stop telling us its happening and tell us how to stop it happening.

4.men. your so determined to make us look crazy and so on. but you do bugger all and when u do u do it wrong. so please, do me a favour and get off ur high horse and put in the same amount of effort we do. and no that doesnt mean chocolates and flowers. grow some balls and be romantic. geez.

more to come.

tea break:)

i have readers!

i just learned people actually read my blog! and its not just driftwood lurking around cyber space!
wowzors wowzors good feelings in my trousorz! (er)

this could explain why so many people have deleted me off facebook recently.

^_^